KELLY fun page

Why be so serious ??? the IRISH are known for their humor and having a good time.....Remember, "ANY time is Guiness time".... come now down to our little pub for a wee bit of fun.........

. .........

Click here, grab your chair, hang on and you will smile !

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

CLICK HERE to visit the Magic Cave of Ol Partick O'Kelly
Irish Crosswords.... Direct from the Irish-Times Newspaper in Dublin .... two puzzles daily - interactive. After you finish the puzzles, read the current news of Ireland.

.... As you know, The Irish teach their children to dance at a very early age... we found this video clip of a 13 month old lad practacing for the "River Dance"... hope you have a sound card for the music, it's great......
It will take some time to load depending on your modem (large file)

~~~ THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG ~~~

* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
* Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
* When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
* Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
* Take naps and stretch before rising.
* Run, romp and play daily.
* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you've had enough.
* Be loyal.
* Never pretend to be something you're not.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
* Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
* Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
* On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
* On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
* When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
* No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout ...run right back and make friends.
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

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...This a short (about 15 seconds) "game" for Mom , Dad, Boy or Girl... A non-sexest strip-tease !!!
You will get a screen with choice to run program (open) or download to your own HD, try it before downloading....... have fun... (it will take a little time to load depending on your modem !!-( approx 2 minutes or 8 seconds).
Time for your writing lesson:
~~~ Every Dot & Title Counts! ~~~

An English professor wrote the words "Woman without her man is a
savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it
correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is a savage."

DRINKING BUDDIES
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why, of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," says the second.
Curious the first asks: "Where in Ireland?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin."
"Of course"
The second man can't help himself so he asks, "What school did you go too?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in '62"
"This is becoming unbelievable!!!" They say in union.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
ANIMATED "E-Mail" GREETING CARDS FOR THAT SPECIAL OCCASION - cards for Friends, Holidays, New Baby, Thank You, Apology, etc., etc. (free)..
.......1.) Blue Mountain Arts
Great E-Mail Post Cards.....

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IRISH JOKES & FUN STUFF
-----------------------------------------------------------

An Irishman, an Englishman and a beautiful girl are riding together in a
train, with the beautiful girl in the middle. The train goes through a
tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound
and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Irishman are
sitting there looking perplexed. The Englishman is bent over holding his
face which is red from an apparent slap.

The Englishman is thinking "Damn it, that Mick must have tried to kiss
the girl, she thought it was me and slapped me."

The girl is thinking, "That Englishman must have moved to kiss me, and
kissed the Irishman instead and got slapped."

The Irishman is thinking, "If this train goes through another tunnel, I
could make another kissing sound and slap that Englishman again!

-----------------------------------------------------------

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to
the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch
of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody
in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One
man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back
up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still
good?" asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints
of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the
pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't
mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were
gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the
street to see if I could do it first."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get
anyone to play with them....they decided it was because they had not
been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School.

So they went to the nearest church. Only the custodian was there.
One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play
with us. Will you baptize us?"

So he took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the
toilet bowl one at a time. He said, "Now go out and play."

When they got outside, dripping wet, the oldest one asked, "What
religion do you think we are? We're not Katlick, because they
pour the water." " We're not Babdist because they dunk all of you."
"We're not Methdiss because they just sprinkle you."
The littlest one said, "Can't you tell by the smell of that baptismal
water what we are?.......Why, we're Pisscopalians."

-----------------------------------------------------------

My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly
as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.

"I got in a tiff with Riley."

"Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised.

"He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was."

"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"

"Aye, that I did--Mrs. Riley's left breast." Kelly said. "And
a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"

First Class Blonde

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class
section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach
because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde
replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm
staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman
to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job
and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to
get the rest of the passengers seated to take off so they get the
co-pilot.

The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She
immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.
The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to
move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the
airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
............................-0-

..Send E-Mail Greeting cards direct from "Ireland" to ..........................................................................................your friends.....

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Why be so serious ??? the IRISH are known for their humor and having a good time.....Remember, "ANY time is Guiness time".... come now down to our little pub for a wee bit of fun.........

Great E-Mail Post Cards.....